My name is Richard.
So what else do you need to know...
stuff about my family or where I'm from?
None of that matters...
not once you cross the ocean and cut your self loose
looking for something more beautiful,
something more exciting...
and, yes, I admit...
something more dangerous.
So after 18 hours in the back of an airplane,
3 dumb movies, 2 plastic meals, 6 beers,
and absolutely no sleep...
I finally touched down...
Hey, you! How about you?
In Bangkok.
Want to go to the waterfall?
Come on! Floating market!
1,500! Cheap for you!
Come on! Hey!
Hey, you need somewhere to stay?
No. I'll be fine.
I'll find my own place. Thanks.
What do you want, man?
And this is it...
Bangkok:
good-time city,
gateway to southeast Asia,
where dollars and deutschmarks
get turned into counterfeit watches
and genuine scars.
Good time!
Boy, girl, fucking. No problem.
This is where the hungry come to feed.
You want to drink snake blood?
Wait a minute.
Did you say snake blood?
Oh, yeah.
No, thanks.
What is wrong with snake blood?
I just don't like the idea.
Oh, maybe you're scared.
Afraid of somethin' new?
No. I just don't like the idea, that's all.
Ha! Like every tourist...
you want it all be safe, just like America.
So never refuse an invitation.
Never resist the unfamiliar.
Uhh!
Never fail to be polite...
Gentlemen...
that was excellent.
And never out stay your welcome.
Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience,
and if it hurts...
It's probably worth it.
Hey.
Good evening.
Hi.
Can I get a room, please?
Yes.
Roger. They need some napalm down there
at tree line.
Can you try and put it down there?
The only downer
is everyone's got the same idea.
We all travel thousands of miles just to watch TV
and check into somewhere with all the comforts of home.
And you gotta ask yourself...
Don't worry, man!
We'll have this place cleaned up and ready
for us in a jiffy, so don't you worry!
what is the point of that?
Ahem!
Et voila.
Thank you.
Bonsoir.
Good night.
And as for traveling alone,
fuck it.
If that's the way it has to be,
then that's the way it is.
Everybody happy!
Everybody havin' a good time, eh?
Fuck you!
Please shut up, okay?
Bastard parasites!
Parasites!
Yeah. That's fucking great!
Cancers! Bastard cancers!
Whoo...
Waah!
Ah!
Waah!
The big, chunky charlie
is eatin' up the whole fuckin' world!
Hey!
Hey, you!
You got anything to smoke?
No, I don't have anything to smoke.
That's no problem, pal, 'cause, uh...
I've got loads of the fucking stuff.
Oh!
You understand what I'm sayin'?
Yeah.
No, you don't.
No, you're right. I don't.
Ah!
That's better!
Thanks.
It was the beach...
you understand?
The beach?
It was too...
beautiful, too much input, too much...sensation.
I tried to keep it under control,
but it just keeps spilling out
and spilling out and spilling out.
Right.
You see, um...
she's on an island...
and that island is...
is perfect. I mean...
I mean real perfection, you know?
I'm not just talkin' about...
"Oh, that's nice".
It's the real fucking deal, okay?
Perfect.
It's just like a... a lagoon, you know,
A tidal lagoon
that's sealed in by cliffs,
totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'...
forbidden.
And nobody can ever, ever, ever, ever go there.
Ever.
But a few people went...
once upon a time...
men and women with ideals,
you understand?
I'm not just talkin' about the usual travelin',
fucking wanks.
Do you believe in that place?
No.
But I guess you're gonna tell me
that I should, right?
It doesn't even fucking matter what I think anymore.
It's up to you.
ideals, eh?
We were just fucking parasites!
The big, chunky charlie!
See, I was the one that was tryin' to find the cure.
Procurer of the cure.
And I said to them, "You've got to leave.
You've got to leave this place".
But they wouldn't listen.
No offense and all,
but...
you're fucked in the head, right?
There, Richard.
It's been nice knowin' ya, man.
Yeah. You, too.
Be careful!
Electric... Electricity!
Ma'am!
Bzzzz!
Chill, man. No worry.
Hey, man,
there is a letter for you.
A what?
Letter on your door.
No fuckin' way.
Do you...
Hello?
You hope...
and you dream.
But you never believe
that something's gonna happen for you,
not like it does in the movies.
And when it actually does...
you want it to feel different...
more visceral...
more real.
I was waiting for it to hit me...
but it just wouldn't happen.
A name of Mr. Daffy Duck.
Birthplace... Never-Never Land?
Gonna fuck up all the paperwork.
The police were pissed
because he was traveling under a false passport.
Go ahead. Sign the statement.
It's okay.
It just say he cut his wrists,
already dead when you found him.
But they didn't ask me about the map, so...
No problem.
I didn't tell 'em.
You have a nice day.
Good luck.
Excuse me.
Look, I mean...
this island may not actually even exist,
and even if it does,
I don't even know if we can get there or not.
I just wondered if you wanted to come with me.
That's all.
Hey, you wanna take a hike?
Uh, a trip, a journey...
with your girlfriend
and me?
I mean, the two of you and me, together?
I'm talking about the secret island.
- Hi. - Hi.
I just feel like everyone
tries to do somethin' different,
but you always wind up doin' the same damn thing.
I realized that I had absolutely no idea
of how I was gonna get there.
But Etienne...
and I have to hand it to the guy...
was great.
I mean, he organized the whole thing:
tickets, timetables, the whole damn trip...
Bangkok to Surat Thani,
Surat Thani to Na Thon,
Na Thon to Chawang...
500 miles in 24 hours
at less than 400 baht.
Trust me, it's a very good deal.
We were headed for the great unknown,
but to get there,
we had to follow the regular tourist trail.
# A little less pushin' #
# Or shovin', take it easy #
# You could even get sleazy #
# Come around #
# Watch a movie #
# With the sound down #
# And get woozy #
We are fine. it's arranged.
Tomorrow morning.
1,800 baht.
Oh, great, man. Nice work.
There's one problem.
He will not take us to the island.
It's in the National Park,
and it's forbidden to go there.
But we are allowed to travel to this one
to stay for one night.
Yeah, yeah. No. See, that's the wrong one.
Yeah, I know that.
Right, but how do we get from there to there?
We swim.
We swim?
Yeah.
We leave our rucksacks on this island,
and then we swim.
You can swim, can't you, Richard?
Of course I can swim.
So, no problem.
Okay, so how far is it, though?
I don't know. One or 2 kilometers?
Cool. Cool.
Not far at all.
Stop it, Richard. it will be worth it.
An adventure,
and just the 3 of us!
Uh-oh.
"Can you swim?"
Of course I can swim.
"Oh, yeah, I am french,
and I have zee beautiful girlfriend, too, eh?"
Great!
God damn it!
Locked out, huh?
Yeah.
Lost your key?
Uh-huh.
Bummer.
Yeah, bummer.
So you wanna grab a beer or somethin'?
You're probably better off without her, anyway, bro.
Sammy, how the fuck would you know
If he's better off without her or not?
You've never even met her!
I'm just tryin' to help the guy
through the dark times.
It's not a problem.
You see, Zeph?
It's not a problem.
Change the fuckin' subject.
All right. Let's talk about how you spend an hour
In front of the mirror every day.
Oh, that's nice. You know this guy?
He likes to wipe his ass with tree leaves.
He thinks he's some sort of jungle commando.
- I swear to God. - whatever.
Damn. Ha ha ha.
I presume you know the story
of the Kentucky-fried mouse.
Yeah.
A woman bites into a chicken leg,
and it turns out to be a...
a mouse...
right?
- Right. - A mouse.
It's an urban myth.
Exactly. it always happened to a friend of a friend
of someone else.
So?
So, I guess there's this urban myth
goin' around here at the moment.
It's about a beach.
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
Huh.
And this beach is perfect, man.
It's on an island, right?
Hidden from the sea.
Now, imagine, you got...
pure white sand...
crystal-clear water...
palm trees.
Yeah. With coconuts and shit.
Yo, tell him the best part, dawg.
Plus...
enough dope, Richard,
to smoke all day every day
for the rest of your goddamn life!
Yeah! Mad weed!
There's only a few people
who know exactly where it is,
and they keep it absolutely secret.
Of course, no one's actually ever met any of these people,
only met somebody who has. You know what I mean?
Exactly. it's a Kentucky-fried mouse.
hmm.
Although, I must say,
If I had a key to a place like that,
I'd keep it to myself,
'cause you don't want every fucking asshole
In Thailand turnin' up.
Boop-boo!
Yeah, yeah.
So what do you think about that story, Richard?
It's good.
It's a good story.
- Hey, you! - Jesus.
I got your key!
Now, I know it wasn't a part of the plan,
but I made a decision to leave a copy of the map.
I'm not gonna say it was the best decision I ever made.
I told myself that spreading news
was a part of a traveler's nature,
but if I was being completely honest,
I was just like everybody else...
shit-scared of the great unknown...
desperate to take a little piece of home with me.
Richard!
Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah. I'm comin'.
Let's go.
Francoise?
Shht!
Etienne will be angry if I wake him.
He thinks I waste time
taking photographs of the sky.
Oh, God.
I think so, too.
Yeah?
Have a look.
One night, I will get the perfect photograph.
Hi.
Whoa! Ha ha ha!
You realize that...
In the eternity of space...
there's probably a planet out there, right...
just like this one...
where another you
is photographing back down towards us.
I mean, essentially, you are photographing yourself
In a parallel universe.
Incredible.
Yeah.
I mean, there are infinite worlds out there,
you know?
Where anything you want to happen...
does happen.
Richard, you know something?
Hmm?
This is just the kind of pretentious bullshit
that Americans always say to French girls
so they can sleep with them.
Oh, God...
sorry.
I thought I was doin' pretty good.
It's just the sky, Richard.
Let's try.
Yeah.
idiot.
Un, deux, trois...
quatre.
When you develop an infatuation for someone,
you always find a reason to believe
that this is exactly the person for you.
It doesn't need to be a good reason.
Taking photographs of the night sky, for example.
Now, in the long run,
that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit
that would cause you to split up.
But in the haze of infatuation,
It's just what you've been searching for all theseyears.
One kilometer.
2.
Richard?
I don't know. I'm American.
So?
I think in miles, not kilometers.
Okay, so how many miles
do you think it is?
I don't know, but it looks like a long way away.
If it's too far, we're gonna drown.
But if we don't try, then we'll never know, right?
Right.
So let's go.
Whoo!
You guys all right?
Yeah. We're okay.
Yeah.
I think we're about halfway.
Oh, fuck!
Richard!
Fuck!
What?
I saw a fin.
What? Are you joking?
No, no, no!
A fin.
Okay, a shark fin?
I don't know. Just a fin
over there, about 100 meters.
Well, was it big?
Yes.
Well, what the fuck do you expect me
to do about it?
Nothing. I just thought you should know!
Well, to be honest, Etienne,
I'd rather you hadn't told me!
Okay, I'm sorry.
It's a bit fucking late now, isn't it?
Francoise!
She's gone!
Oh, my God!
Okay, what happened?
I don't know.
She just went underwater!
She was pulled under!
Francoise!
Where did you go? Francoise!
I don't see her!
Oh, fuck! it's her bag!
Okay, was there a shark?
Did you see a shark, Etienne?
I don't know!
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, man.
Aah!
Aah! Oh!
Ha ha ha!
Oh, fuck you! Oh!
Ha ha ha.
Ah ha ha ha ha.
Oh ho-ho, yeah!
Oh, you Europeans are so funny, huh?
You have such a playful sense of humor.
No wonder your comedies conquered the world.
Ha ha! What about Moliere?
Who?
Oh, fuck off.
Come on.
Wow.
Oh. Now, this is what I call a lot of dope.
Huh.
Hey.
We're gonna go this way.
Okay? Shut up. Shut up.
Come on.
Aah.
Ay.
Sure, we should've turned back,
but I wasn't going to,
not now.
I just kept telling them we'd get there.
Trust me.
It's paradise.
If we take this down,
It should lead us all the way.
Come on.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Merde.
Well?
Well, what?
How do we get down?
How am I supposed to know? Do I have to decide everything now?
We'll jump.
Fuck. You wanted to be in command, Richard.
I only took command
because you lost your nerve, French boy!
Yeah, and look where you've taken us!
We'll jump.
If you're not happy with the way things are going,
you can just take over. All right, sir?
All right. I will.
There. We'll climb down there.
We can jump.
Francoise, look.
We're not gonna jump, all right?
So just can it.
And as for climbing down there,
that is just an asshole suggestion!
You calling me an asshole?
Yeah, and that's just the start of it.
All right, fuck-face, let's do it.
All right, motherfucker.
Francoise!
Shit.
Francoise!
Come on, guys. it's okay.
It's not dangerous.
Come on.
Drop the bags down. Come on!
All right. So we'll jump.
Oh, fuck.
Aah!
Oh, fuck!
Waah!
Wahoo!
Did you see that shit?
Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
Oh, my God!
Congratulations!
Took me the best part of an hour
to work up the balls to do that.
Mind you, I was on me own.
So you have to make allowances.
You know what I mean?
I think maybe you better meet up with Sal.
Jesus Christ! We're fucking here!
Do you realize that?
Don't you go anywhere!
All right. Doing well.
Ciao, Sonja.
Hi.
Noisy kitchen.
How you doing?
What's for dinner?
One guess. Fish.
I don't know what we expected,
people living in a cave?
Maybe even a few guys in tents...
Gregorio.
but nothing like this.
How are you, Keaty?
Roll 'em. Don't smoke 'em.
It was like we arrived into a lost world,
a full-scale community of travelers,
not just passing through,
but actually living here.
I suddenly became aware
that we weren't even invited.
The guy who drew it...
Daffy.
Yeah. Yeah. He's dead.
What?
No way.
Yeah. He cut his wrists open in a hotel room
on the Khao San Road.
You have seen this?
Well, I came afterwards.
Well, that's sad news.
He was one of the founders of our community.
Oh.
But he became depressed.
This is crazy.
The police didn't know what to do with the body,
so I guess they're gonna, like, incinerate him
or something.
Do you think he gave a map to anybody else?
I... no. I don't think so.
And you, have you shown this map to anybody?
No.
Good.
We value our secrecy.
Yeah, burn!
Let's gag one.
# Ooh, me #
You hear that? You hear that?
# I think that I am going out of my mind #
# Going out of my #
# Mind #
# Hey, woman #
# it's all right #
# Hey #
C'est magnifiique.
# Hey #
# Woman #
Oh. it's so fucking beautiful, man.
Neighbors.
Hey. I've got your oils, man.
Here. I want to give you something.
Listen up, everybody.
Okay. Tomorrow I will travel for many miles on a bicycle.
Um, Vicki.
Uh, uh, sutra cuputovati
mnogomillja biciklom.
Great. Very good. Helene.
Very good.
Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom.
Very good. Keaty?
All right. it's far too easy, though.
Yes. Okay. Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom.
There's more, you know.
He knows everything.
Richard!
Ahem.
Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom.
Yes, Richard!
You're represented, man.
Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom.
This became ourworld,
and these people, our family.
back home was just one more place
we didn't think about.
I settled in.
I found my vocation:
the pursuit of pleasure.
Sal was the leader,
but it wasn't a big deal.
I mean, there wasn't any ideology or shit like that.
It was just a beach resort
for people who don't like beach resorts.
...and some of us build.
Even paradise takes a little shaping.
For years, they kept this place a secret.
They didn't need to tell anyone.
They were practically self-sufficient.
The only thing they had to do
was sail back once in a while
to trade a little marijuana and buy some rice.
Whoa!
We grow our own, which means no stealing
from the farmers on the other side.
And do they know that you're living here?
Oh, yeah, but they keep to their side,
and we don't trespass on their turf.
A couple of years ago, they came to us,
and they said that we could stay.
That was all right, but nobody else should come.
which kind of suits us as well.
So, you was lucky, you know? Very lucky.
There was Keaty,
who only cared about 2 things...
Thank you, Lord,
for the twin pillars of civilization:
Christianity and cricket.
There were the Swedes...
Christo, Sten, and Karl.
We like fishing.
Fishing. Yeah.
And in the winter, we like skiing.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Of course, in Thailand, there is no skiing.
We wait, okay?
We wait until the fish come.
Get it?
Shit. No way!
Whoo!
And I said unto thee, "I shall provide!"
Yeah!
- Stop it. - What?
our resident chef was known as Unhygenix...
Let's cook.
on account of his obsession with soap.
Fish, fish, fish.
Still I smell fish.
There was a range of sporting
and leisure activities to suit all tastes.
Etienne is good at soccer.
I could do that if I wanted to.
I just don't want to.
What are you talking about?
Making conversation.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Here?
Anywhere.
No. Why?
Just making conversation.
Right arm overwicket, 3 balls remaining.
is there anyone who still does not understand?
The only person I didn't like
was Sal's boyfriend Bugs, our on-island carpenter.
Hey, Richard. Can you do this?
Can you make anything?
A man should have a talent in his hands.
Here we go, people!
Whoo!
So every community has its rituals.
Well, ours was simple.
The last one to arrive tattoos the next.
It fucking hurts, okay?
What did he say?
Aah!
Andy, bring yours closer.
Come on, Richard.
Oh, God!
Oh,Jesus!
That fucking hurt!
All in all, this really was paradise.
Except for one thing:
desire is desire wherever you go.
The sun will not bleach it,
nor the tide wash it away.
Francoise.
One... she's just teasing you.
What are you talking about?
2... you don't speak french.
3... he speaks French.
In fact, even better than that...
4... he is French.
5... he's much better at football...
sorry, sorry...
soccer than you.
and 6... you're a bit strange, rich.
Some girls like that in a man,
but not usually the sort of girls
you want to be with.
is that right?
Come on. Your last girlfriend chucked you.
There must've been a reason.
Well, it was not my fault.
And 7... look at, look at your thumbs, man.
They're well defined.
What is that supposed to mean?
You play a lot of video games.
That is a powerful index of incompatibility.
Well, why do I get the feeling
like you're trying to tell me something here, Keaty?
You haven't a hope, mate,
not a bleeding chicken's chance in Thailand.
Know what I mean?
Thank you.
So, enjoy the beach and cut the bullshit.
Thank you very much.
It's my pleasure.
No. no. You, no.
You cannot... no. No! No.
Please leave me. Leave me!
Hey, that's my bed.
No!
I can deal with it.
I don't want you to deal with it!
It won't take a minute, Gregorio.
No! Really, no.
No. I must go to mainland!
I'm sick. I've got to. Sal!
What's this?
You want to go to the mainland to see a dentist?
Yes.
It's out of the question.
Come on. it'll be fun.
I'll be the nurse.
It won't hurt. Be brave.
How's it going, Richard?
Fine. Fine.
You okay with this?
- Yeah.
I mean, we have a secret here, right?
Sometimes people need to take a little pain
to keep it that way.
Excellent. Excellent attitude.
No problem.
You'll be okay.
Oh, shit!
Good work!
Kill the pain, boy.
Okay.
Take the drink.
Take a drink.
Bugs.
Thank you, Bugs.
Thank you.
Richard?
Yeah.
Would you like to come to the beach with me?
Come on, Etienne.
Just throw one, man.
Okay.
Seven of diamonds. All right, man.
Sure. Yeah.
Are you happy, Richard?
Happy?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess.
I mean, the beach, you know,
is just perfect.
Do you think that I ignore you?
No.
But I do.
It's because I'm with Etienne.
It's difficult for me to spend time with you.
I don't suppose that there's any, you know,
special reason that you should...
spend time with me, that is.
Of course there is.
I like you a lot.
Have you told this to Etienne or...
No.
It's our secret.
Okay.
Look! There.
The plankton. Shrimps.
When they're disturbed, they glow.
Come on.
That night, we promised ourselves,
and we honestly believed,
that no one would ever know.
I want to talk.
About what?
About you and Francoise.
What do you mean, me and Francoise?
I mean, Richard...
that I want her to be happy.
Yeah. I mean, of course.
We all do, right?
Shut up!
Please shut the fuck up.
And if happy is with you,
then I will not stand in her way.
Etienne, man, I re...
I really don't know what you're talking about.
Fuck you, Richard!
I know! Okay? I know.
Everybody knows!
The problem is seeing the fish.
With the heavy rain and the bad light,
It's very difficult to catch them.
It could last for days.
Sometimes...
we get really hungry.
Give me that.
Richard!
Richard! Richard!
Richard!
I can't hear you!
You can't hear me.
- Shark! - Shark!
Shark!
- Shark! - Shark!
Nnhh!
All right. All right.
All right.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Now, before I start, there's...
there'sjust a couple of things you have to remember.
Number one, you have to remain calm.
Right?
And number 2, you have to show no fear.
Teach it. Teach it.
Because the sharks... you see, the sharks,
they can sense that fear...
just as easily as they can sense blood.
And so it went for me...
just as I knew it would,
just as nature had ordained.
It's... jaw... wide open.
Row upon row of these razor-sharp teeth,
glinting underwater like jagged diamonds.
Its tail fin sweeping back and forth as it
surged in for the kill.
I swear to God...
my whole life
Really. I had nothing left to offer
except for pure reflex,
pure reflex and mankind's basic drive for survival
that somehow shouts, "No!
I will not die today!"
And at that instant, man,
I knew it was either the shark or me.
The shark knew it.
I knew it.
But,jeez, God...
It it's nothing personal, right?
You know, it'sjust the way the world works.
Right? it's nature.
But if I remember correctly...
In that last glimmer of its eyes,
there was a moment between us...
where he said, "Hey, Richard, man..."
"enjoy your dinner".
Uhh!
Aah!
Strange thing, killing a shark.
isn't it, Richard?
Just a big fish, Bugs.
Just a big fish?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe when it's just a baby
and it hasn't really learned to kill yet,
then maybe it's just a big fish.
But when it's a great white angry mother
with a taste of human blood on its tongue,
now, that's a different story.